In Italy, there was an old man in the village named Sini. He was Italian, but had lived in Egypt and Australia. He had a wizened, tanned face and deep brown eyes that crinkled at the corners; wiry grey hair, and large hands. He always smiled, and always wore a tweed jacket. Everytime he saw me, he would call out, “Caterina! Caterina! Abbiamo un caffè! Venite con me!“ My Italian name is Caterina; for the fourteen months that I lived there, I was called this. But I cannot roll the Italian “r,” so I mispronounced my own name. Sini would walk across the piazza to meet me and greet me with a kiss on each cheek, and link my arm through his and lead me to the nearest café. We’d stand at the bar, and he would order due espresso doppia, sometimes with a side of grappa. We’d chat and he would smoke cigarettes, gesturing with his hands the whole time he was talking and scattering cigarette ashes everywhere. The enoteca (wine bar) in town was only frequented by men; women could come, but had to be accompanied by men. Sini took me to the enoteca one day, introducing me to the rich pleasure of Vino Nobile di Montepulciano and Brunello di Montalcino wines seeping through my tongue and sluicing down my throat. I learned about good Tuscan wine and cheese from Sini at this enoteca.
I could never say no to Sini. Even if I was on my way to the store or the studio, he wouldn’t take no for an answer. No matter how much I protested – “but Sini, I want to get back to the studio and work on my art!” – he wouldn’t hear it. “But Sini, it’s too late in the afternoon. If I have an espresso now, I’ll be up all night!” And I was up all night. But I was productive! I made a lot of art during this time.
Towards the end of my Italian stay, I was running out of grant money and knew I was going to have to return to the States soon. I didn’t know where I was going to end up for sure, but something kept pulling me towards California. The best photography markets were in New York, Florida, and California. And something kept saying, “California.” One day, while standing in a café with Sini, I told him this. I told him that I thought I should go to California. He said, “I think you should go to California too.” “Why?” I asked.
“There’s love waiting for you in California,” he said.
He was always nagging me about being single and not having a boyfriend. “It’s not right,” he insisted. “You need a boyfriend.”
“Why do I need a boyfriend?” I questioned. I didn’t want to be with anyone. I was still recovering from a loss, and I wasn’t in Italy to stay forever. I didn’t want to get entangled with an Italian man. I needed to be alone. I was happy being alone.
“Boyfriends are important. Love is important. Without love, there is no life!” Sini insisted, waving his hands in the air and causing the wispy smoke from his cigarette to leave contrails.
He seemed convinced that there was someone in California waiting for me, though I barely only knew one or two people there.
“Trust me,” he said. “You’ll find love in California.” He smiled and patted my cheek, and then ordered a shot of grappa for each of us.
I left Italy and moved to California. I returned to Italy three years later to visit. Sini recognized me immediately when I walked past the enoteca and came ambling out with his familiar “Caterina!! Caterina bellissima!” He was slower than I’d remembered, and looked very sleepy. His English faltered, and my Italian was even worse after not having been used for three years. He was quieter than usual this day.
We went in the enoteca and he ordered me a very dark, blackish-red Brunello. We toasted, and I took a sip. It had been a few years since I had wine like this. He looked at me and smiled. He didn’t ask me about love, or whether I had found it in California. At that time, I hadn’t.
But I did find it eventually. I guess he was right, after all.


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